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I've got to see a man about a dog...
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The English say some weird stuff, which could leave you in an awkward situation if you've just arrived in town. Although my own colloquialisms can be hard to understand at times too, here are the meanings behind 15 slang words or phrases I've encountered since arriving in the UK.
"You alright?" - The most confusing 'hello' ever invented. Sometimes said in passing with no response needed, sometimes said in earnest where a short response is insufficient and offensive the other party. Ironically it is always incorrect to say 'I'm good thanks, how are you?' as this is no longer a greeting, and no one actually wants to start a conversation with you. Best response is to repeat it back and keep walking.
"Ey up!" - another way of saying hello, typically a Northern greeting. Still unsure of correct response.
"I saw your man/woman the other day" - This one still gets me. Mostly an Irish saying, 'your man' is usually a total stranger. Usually used in chatty conversations instead of 'the man' or 'that stranger at the bar on the opposite side of the room'. Very hard to focus on the conversation when you're panicking and trying to understand who the hell they're talking about.
"Pants" - In the UK pants only mean underpants. If you use pants instead of trousers there may be a sharp intake of breath until you reassure everyone that you do in fact have underwear on.
"Vest" - Apparently vest means singlet. Call it what you will; tank top, spaghetti straps, singlet, wife beater, thermal, but to me a vest is a knitted jumper with no sleeves. Also it does not mean a waistcoat, which will always be a waistcoat and not a vest!
"cherrio!" - Meaning goodbye, not small pink sausages with red casing commonly eaten at children's parties.
"Ice lolly" - I'd call this an ice block. Also another word for ice cream on a stick.
"I've been stitched up" - When someone has tricked you or put you in a bad position. Very close to 'I've been fucked over' or 'I'm screwed'.
"On my jack jones" - rhyming slang for on my own. No need for an extra seat. Flying solo. Totally alone.
"I've got to see a man about a dog" - meaning that you either have to go to the bathroom, or you want to excuse yourself from the group without saying where you're going.
"Cor blimey" - to be surprised or shocked. Apparently 'Gordon Bennett' also means this, but I have no idea why...
"Bare" - very or a lot, as in 'I got bare jokes'
"Scum" - Insult used to describe someone at the bottom of the pyramid. A bad or worthless person, similar to calling some 'a scumbag', but being just 'scum' is worse. Not uncommonly used when joking about yourself or a loved one to friends.
"Banter" - joking or teasing which could be taken as offensive but which usually has some sort of playful, intelligent or original sub-context.
"Innit" - a shortened version of "isn't it" which is widely used beyond its original context. Used as an agreement in conversation, or to ask a question. Sometimes even a stand alone statement or expression of frustration or camaraderie. Innit.
What's your favourite British Slang?
Thanks for reading
x G x
Bollocks!
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